freaky ass dreams! what do they mean?!

first of all... i'm not letting him control my life brooke. he wanted to come up here, i haven't seen him in awhile, it only made sence.

k back to the title... i've been havin some crazy ass dreams the last two nights and i don't have the slightest idea what they mean....

yesterdays dreams:
k the first one was really weird! grant was in it but his name wasn't grant it was stephen. we were in this big hotel that his parents owned and we were...i don't know.... dating? but i don't know this dream was crazy ass backwards! *brooke just to make it completly clear, i don't like grant like that! he's a nice guy but...no* so we were in his hotel suite, which is in the basement.... yeah explain that one to me!!! what kind of suite is in the basement of the hotel?! anywho... we were talking and all of the sudden he stopped, looked at me and said "I have to leave and you can't come with." *o yeah grant had a british accent too* and i was like NOOO!!!! but that's all i could say. then he kissed me but it was like kissing a shark....all teeth! o god it was bad! grant if you read this i really hope u don't kiss like that just for the sake of some of my friends!

then i had a dream about my secret boy... we were layin on the couch cuddling and then all of the sudden we sat up and he said "I have to leave and you can't come with." i grabbed on to him and was freaking out! i mean i was really freaking out! tears screaming..the whole nine yards! this one i woke up too tho and i was really crying... i was really scared!

my theory on both dreams:
i don't want people to leave me... most importantly my secret boy. i told him the other day that this can't keep happening and that i like another guy *which is true but i'm not gunna admit who it is cuz i don't wanna get my hopes up and he won't control my life! ;)* i told him that and he was like "whatever makes you happy... i'll just get over it i guess" and for obvious reasons that wasn't what i wanted him to say! i mean i'm glad that he's gunna deal with the fact that i have to move on but i wanted him to fight for me...just like every girl wants her guy to do... but then again he's not my guy....

back to the theory:
by my secret boy sayin that...he was leaving me and i couldn't go with.... * hopefully i got that right*

TIME OUT!
*i'm really excitted to see smitty tomorrow! yeah i shouldn't be gettin my hopes up but i haven't seen him in close to a month and i really miss him!*
TIME IN!

last night *and this one is the long one!*:
so i was hanging out with kylie *my dad's friend's daughter* and she was dating secret boy. well kenzie *kylie's sister* called kylie and was like o help me i need help o whoa is me! so kylie and sb *secret boy* go out looking for her.... well they get into the big car accident... and i mean like movie style car accident, and i saw the whole thing! they come back with kenzie and i take the car and drive around * o yeah my clothing in this story consists of my bears jersey, my letterman's jacket, and underwear! that's right i wasn't wearing any pants!* then i get this txt from chris phile that says "can you get this bootleg dvd for me? i would but can't... go see danta up on the terrace and give him the check that's in ur glove compartment" so i go up to the terrace *which for some reason is that little circle road up by gilliand's house* and i get out of my car...still not wearing any pants... and i hand the guy that's sitting there the check and he hands me the dvd and the check back.... so i walk back to my car and call chris... i was like "he gave me the check back... is that a bad thing?" and chris was like "no. he just called me and said you gave him a good show... what happened up there? let me guess you aren't wearing any pants." then i woke up and sure enough the pants that i had put on before i fell asleep were laying next to the bed on the floor....

my theory:
i don't like to wear pants

hehe


anyway back to today... i'm just chillin at mi casa... nothing much to do today. i should prolly work on my paper that's due monday... i might. lol i really really REALLY! want to transfer next year... this place just doesn't feel right. brooke has me almost convinced to go to ISU but NIU has been my dream for a really long time... maybe i'll talk to some ppl that go to NIU and see what they say.

o yeah i think i might want to major in business and minor in photography. that would be fun yeah? i've always loved taking pictures and if i could get paid while doing it then that would def. be a bonus!

ok i got some procrastinating and eclipse reading to do...

please comment

PEACE!!!

90210!!!

the new 90210 is on soon!!!! i'm so excited to watch it! i used to watch it with my mom when i was younger and remember every episode! it's been way to long!!!

one tree hill was on last night!!! I'M SO HAPPY IT'S PAYTON! i thought it would have been brooke but i'm really happy it's payton. that n i'm really starting to feel bad for dan! nanny carrie is a stupid whore! god i love my shows!!!

i went home this weekend! it was ok... me and brooke went out saturday night which was the highlight of the weekend! we had so much fun! I LOVE YOU B. CRAIG! *that's right a one tree hill reference!* last night i talked to smitty for the first time in weeks! and much to my surprise he was completly sober! he appologized for what happened the night of the fair and he wants to come here to see me! i hope he's for real this time... i don't know if i can handle that drama again!

ok 90210 is on and it deserves my complete attention!

please comment...

PEACE!

g with an o o with a d t with an i and m with an e that spells good time

wow.... today was....eventful but in a good way!!!

so i went to class a half an hour early....noticed we had to go to the wtc *across campus* so i drove to that building. got there n no1 was there.... talked to the lady at the front desk and she was like i don't know of anything *i was thinkin you're the lady at the god damn front desk! you're supposed to know things like this DUMBASS!* then i saw some of my classmates! so i followed them down there...we waited til 5 *when the class is supposed to start* and we decided to go back to our real classroom. well on the way we ran into my classmates and we decided to stay there longer. it was 510 when we really went back to the classroom. when we got there no1 was there... we looked at the paper and noticed one next to it which said that our class was cancled. I WAS PISSED! so pissed that i had to call brooke and vent about it! what a doll she is for letting me vent and not complaining about doing so! love ya babe!

when i got in my car i noticed i had a voicemail. it was a lady from bergner's saying she wanted to have an interview with me. i called her back and it's all set. friday at 1130! i'm really excitted because that's exactly what i want to get into!

when i got home i got on msn and worked on my math homework. then i saw that curran got on... i was kinda worried about this cuz the last time he was on n we talked it was about why we couldn't be together... well he started talkin to me tonight *which is a very good thing cuz i was sick and tired of reaching out to him and try to start talkin again...* it was a very good convo and i'm so glad that we're both on the same level of we're friends and friends don't act like we've been acting. thank you curran... i really appreciate talking to you... you really were one of my best friends and it sucked not being able to talk to you... maybe we can be good friends again. just don't forget about me again cuz we've had some really good times in the short time that we were "allowed" to be together.

i'm still not sure about what to do with my secret boy *sorry tamie still can't use names....probably never will be able to so tell todd to shove it but only in the nicest way possible of course :)* his rough spot is starting to get out of hand... he's not gunna do anything about it from the looks of it! which is really aggrvating because what happened shouldn't have and it just pisses me off that he's gunna let it go! fuck that babe! but i'm being unbiased and letting him do what he wants because i can't control him or his life... that's his choice... but it still pisses me off!!!!! ok enough of that!

i finished new moon! the ending was very very good! and i've started eclipse... it's pretty good so far but i'm only 50 pages into and everyone knows that all the action starts at least 75 pages into these books.... i just wish edward would let bella see jacob... yeah i understand that jake and edward are mortal enemy's but come on edward! they are best friends! besides if you're gunna turn your girlfriend/fiancee into a vampire then you could at least let her see her werewolf best friend!

i can't wait for my history class tomorrow! i really really like that class! i'm pretty sure it's one of my favorites! in fact i'll make a list!

the order of my classes from favorite to pain in the ass!:
1. History-i love history in general n i think i made a good friend in that class so that's good!
2. English-i haven't had a bad day in that class! sure i've only had it twice but every moment has been a good one!
3.Business-dan and jj give me some eye candy to look at! if you guys read this you really are two of the better looking guys in there! sure alex *sits next to me* is cute but god dan u have the best smile and jj your just down right attractive! hehe but besides that boys! i haven't had homework in that class and the group thing we did tuesday was awesome cuz i loved my group of cheryl derda and mark! they rock my socks!
4.Math-this class is ok... i'm not sure how to take the teacher... he's kinda like heidenrich and kenna mixed together.... sometimes it's good sometime's it's bad... he reminds me of my mom too! always repeating everything! UGH!!!!
5. of course Orientation!-this class is my bullshit class! i don't even need the ONE credit hour that it gives me and today just really pissed me off! the dude coulda emailed us or something! but no he made me drive all the way into rockford *15 minutes* just to stay there til 520 because class was cancled and he didn't bother putting it on a bigger sign there a 11x8 piece of paper that was a foot away from the door! come on dude! seriously?!



i'm excitted to go home this weekend! might get to see dj which is always a good thing! i really miss hanging out with him! during and after the whole cassandra thing i didn't really see him that much so it's gunna be nice to be able to see him again! it's also austin's bday this weekend! hopefully he stays home and parties with me instead of going to dekalb! come on dude the last two bdays you've had you sent in dekalb! you can spend your 20th with me!

wow austin's gunna be 20! he's really climbing that age later...with my close behind him! i still can't imagine him being 21! thankfully i have a year before that happens! but how sweet will that be! i'll finally have a source i can count on to NOT get me into trouble! sweet! austin if you're reading this i've really never said a bad thing about you that i've meant! ;) o yeah please stay home this weekend! i miss you a lot!

i'm excited to see brooke and bridget! i'm also long past due for some partying! it's been what.... almost two weeks! ugh! anna brooke maybe bridget if she wants...we need to get out this weekend! i promise i won't wanna throw up like last weekend! it was that damn fireball ride TWICE that did it! o n saturday! brooke i forgot to tell ya... smitty bailed on me... go figure. yeah anna asked me why was i surprised and i realized i wasn't at all.... i completly expected him to do that... thanks smitty i really apprecate you not calling me back....even almost a week later! dude that's seriously not cool! but i'll prolly end up telling him this when he calls me drunk...yet again! then i'll tell him off n hope that he remembers!

ok tamie... was this a good enough post for ya?! i think this covers the last two days i've neglected to put anything up here!

ok my fingers hurt!

please comment....

PEACE!

i can sleep when i'm dead

this weekend was fun...to a point... gotta go to the fair...see some good singers....hang out with the girls...meet some cute guys....almost get sick from riding fair rides! loved it! i also finished my first essay for english 101.... well it's a rough draft but still.... o here it is:

Opening my senses:
“Show don’t tell.” This is what I learned during my very first class of my very first day in college. Growing up, I always thought the saying was “how AND tell”. To be completely honest, I wasn’t quite sure what this new phrase meant. My professor told the class that we were to show others, with our words, a public environment. We were to paint a picture in the reader’s mind, if you will. I’m a horrible artist; stick figures are my master pieces, but I’ve always loved to write. Observing a place is new for me; I’ve never really sat in a room and just looked around. Then once I got to the Rock Valley College library, I realized that observing is much more than just looking around. Observing is noticing all the details that are around you; the sights, the smells, and the noises. Let me tell you, there was a lot to observe in this library.
While sitting in the second level of the library, I was able to have a bird’s eye view of everything that was happening, both around and below me. I was amazed by the movement within the room; students were coming and going, asking questions, and, of course, looking for books. The students that entered the room were all unique. They all varied in size, shape, and visible ethnicities. There were a number of girls who walked in with sun glasses on their heads. This was interesting because the glasses looked like they were covered in stars from the reflection of the lights that hung over all of our heads. I also noticed that there was a blue wall, about eight feet tall and fifty feet long, at the opposite end of the room from where I was sitting. This wall was just blue, nothing on it except for a security camera and a fire alarm. I was rather undisturbed by its appearance because it reminded me of my blue queen size comforter. This comforter has traveled with me all the way from Stockton, and is my little slice of home. Then my attention was distracted by the fact that I’ve never seen so many books in one room before! I grew up in a small town and never really got to a library that had more than two hundred books; seeing this room, that had what seemed to be two hundred thousand books, was shocking.
The odor of the room took me completely by surprise. Before entering I thought the library would reek of old decaying paper. On the contrary, I was welcomed by the smell of slightly old paper, a hint of fresh air, and the faint smell of cologne and perfume. Out of those, the aroma that surprised me the most was the fresh air. The room had windows, but they couldn’t be opened. I’m sure it had ventilation, but you can’t get fresh air through air conditioning. Then, I realized that the doors to the room lead to the front doors of the building. The movement of students and staff, into the building and also into the room, kept the air fresh rotating. The people were oxygenating the campus. What a wonderful thought!
Then, I was brought back to the present world, by the continuous sounds that I was, thereafter, compelled to listen to. Surrounded by books from history and the recent past may make one feel like time traveling, but the rhythmic typing of the students on the computer reminded everyone that we are living in the here and now. Footsteps were more then audible in the partially silent room. The opening and closing of the doors reminded me that I was always surrounded by people. Some I may not ever get the chance to know; others whom may become my best friend.
My first two days of college were slightly nerve raking, but after observing the Rock Valley College library I realized that I had no reason to be nervous. The sights made me feel like I was in another world, but completely secure. The smells made the transition from high school to college that more bearable. Finally, the sounds reminded me to live each day for what it was worth. Next time you are in a public place, look around; take in every detail for what it’s worth. You wouldn’t want to miss out on a chance to see, smell, or hear something that could change your life, or at least your perspective.



i tried! :)
i'm kinda worried about that secret boy right about now.... he's goin thru a tough spot and i just hope he follows thru with the promise i made him make... but he knows that i'm here for him so hopefully that's enough to keep his spirits up! xo

ok so time for yet another week of school... still jobless...but i'm gunna call some family connections that i have around here tomorrow and hopefully someone can hook me up with a job that would be wonderful for me! i'm really missin pay checks right about now!

i stopped over at my aunts friday and got to see some of the kids i helped watch this summer! grace just got up from her nap when i walked in.... i got to go get jack from his crib! o god i love that kid! he's so cute and i just love him to pieces! he learned how to jump which is amazing! i feel like i'm missing so much when i'm not around.... hopefully tamie will continue to keep me informed *wink wink*

ok time for some more reading now! i'm almost done and will have to spend some more money to buy the next one.... o the joys of being a bookworm that doesn't have a job.... UGH but it's so so so worth every penny and then some! I LOVE YOU EDWARD CULLEN PLEASE DON'T KILL YOURSELF!!!

please comment!

PEACE!

the world i know

today was.... i don't know how to describe it. i miss my friends so much! i'm slightly regretting not going to a four year school because i don't have to meet ppl. i could go on without meeting anyone here but where's the fun in that. it's just hard because i think ppl around here have their friends so they aren't out to make new ones.

i did make possibly a new friend today. her name is amber and she sat next to me in my history class. she came up to me *while i was reading new moon* and was like is that twilight and i was like no it's new moon. she was like wow i'm reading that one now too. i knew right then we would be good together. so every chance we got to talk her n i took complete advantage of it! she seems really nice.

this weekend is the freeport fair and i'm going home tomorrow!!!! YAY!!!

pancake!
hehe only certain ppl would get that
sorry for puttin an inside joke in here but i had to....cuz it's true.... i always thought publicly sayin an inside joke was kinda awkward so i'm not gunna talk about it ;)

k i'm gunna go back to reading new moon *MY NEW FAVORITE OBSESSION!*

please comment

PEACE!

nobody's listening

these last two days have been so much fun!

tuesday- i had my toys r us interview. i think it went pretty good. that was at 10 so after that i went to panda express and had some lunch. then i went back to the school to start my essay. it's on observing public places. i decided to do the school's library. while i was sitting on the second level i looked down to the first and i saw jenna mcphilps! i was like o my goodness! so i went downstairs and sat at the computer next to her. when she looked at me she must not have realized who i was cuz she double taked and was like HI!!! i was like hi. we talked for awhile then i told her i had to work on my essay. then 245 rolled around and i decided i should go search for my math class. when i got there n class start i soon realized that i was in a high college level statistics class. HIGH COLLEGE LEVEL! i suck at math. this class is really gunna kick my ass. o yeah the calculator that i had for the class is the older version of the one i need. i had to go to walmart and buy and $80 calculator! damn you expesive but completly nessesary calculator! then when that class was over i had to walk all the way to the other side of the campus to get to my next class. i got there with one minute to spare and i was like great this is gunna be awesome! *sarcasm* i went to the very back row and sat next to a girl named ann. she seemed very nice and cool. she was txtin on phone during class *as do i opps!* then the professor was like ok now it's time to interview someone you don't know. well just as i was gunna ask ann to be my partner the two boys in front of was turned around n were like do ya mind? and i looked at ann and back at the boy sitting in front of me and was like i don't *he was very very cute!* and ann didn't either. so....i learned that the boy sitting in front of my was named dan. i noticed right away that he smiles.... A LOT! in fact that might be an understatment. but he seemed really cool so when i got home that night i added him on myspace and then eventually facebook.

wednesday-i played playstation for most of the day. i'm becoming quite good, if i do say so myself. then i had to get ready for my only class of the day...orientation. i can tell that the class is going to be a little bit of a snore. o well. i'm not gunna complain cuz it's my only class on wednesdays and it's only 50 minutes long.

today is my longest day out of the whole week. math business and history all in 6 hours. UGH! o well...i made the schedual so i really have nothing to whine over.

please comment!

PEACE!

how far we've come

here was my day in a nut shell:

woke up at 822
went downstairs and had cold pop tarts and oj
watched the today show *favorite sorce of news!*
played grand theft auto from 930 to 3! yeah i don't even know where all the time went! i popped in the disc and played then looked up at the clock and was like whoa i have class in three hours
had some great pizza inbetween my loss of time
showered
got pretty
*even tho it didn't take much ;)*
then at 5 i went downstairs...bookbag packed up...purse ready
and i wanted
and waited
for half an hour that seemed like FOREVER!
then at 530 i left for my english 101 class
from my house it takes me 20 minutes to get to the school
i figured that ten minutes i would have to find my class
well turns out...people like to drive home from 530-550
the traffic was nuts!
but i got there at 550 *thanks to my handy speeding and swerving abilities*
i got in the building with my class room at 552 cuz i parked at the very end of the parking lot
gotta get excersise somewhere!
then freaked out cuz i didn't realize that room G31 was on the ground level
as in underground
so i was running around like a chicken with my head cut off
until i finally found a map on the wall
G stands for ground...i soon realized after careful observation of said map
so i walked into my classroom *which is underground ugh!* at 557
most of the seats were taken which is cool
then this girl walks in and sits next to me
i was like hi and as soon as i said hi the professor was like welcome
it was kinda funny
then we went around and did intros
my class was very diverse
from 18-45 year olds
from jmk nippon workers to single mothers
i loved that!
then the girl sitting next to me...her name was jordyn (?) i think
she said she just got back from a summer in spain like two weeks ago
i was like wow and she was like yeah it was amazing
so we went thru the sylibus thing
got packets
blah
blah
blah
then we got a break
*o yeah a 10 minute break for an almost 3 hour class*
*yeah it was intense*
but jordyn n i talked about her time in europe and we both really want to go/return
the time just flew by!
before i knew it...it was 830 and the professor was like ok you guys can leave 10 minutes really tonight
i was like SCORE!
i really think that's gunna be on of my favorite classes!
i can't wait to write those essays
the first rough draft is due next monday
it's about observing places and/or ppl
i'm going to the library before my classes tomorrow to take notes on everything!
i'm so relieved that today was good
i've been havin some bad days so this really helped
a lot
god i'm gunna love college!
:)


please comment!

PEACE!

bring on the rain

O MY GOODNESS! i can't believe my classes start tomorrow! where the hell did this summer go?! i'm ready. i'm ready to start this thing and rock it out! i had my orientation the other night *you would know that if i would keep up on this stupid thing and i'll tell ya why i haven't later...* and i didn't really meet anyone... which kinda sucked but hey here's a good story for ya! we were in a classroom having a mock class and the professor had us do this current affiars trivia game... guess who knew all but 2 of the 15 questions! that's right urs truly... i felt proud of myself because no1 else knew nearly as much of it as i did but i was slightly embarrassed because i felt like i was drawing unwanted attention to myself. but hey at least if any of the groups are in class with me they will know i know what's up. :)

ok this is why i haven't been keeping up with this blog deal. for starters my cousin was here this weekend and i didn't want to shell myself in my room and stay on the computer all weekend. the real reason i wasn't keepin up was because i haven't been feeling the best. upset stomach...can't sleep...can't hardly eat...everything just feels wrong. and i know why... this boy *whom i can't name* is really gettin to me. i just feel like i'm falling much to quickly for a guy who prolly isn't even close to caring. he says he cares but i'm not so sure... i want so much to just be with him but.... there are variables that need to be thrown in that i continually and purposly neglect. i won't be able to talk to him for awhile so i hope this whole out of sight *even tho i hardly see him but you get it* out of mind thing will prove itself for the first time...ever!

god these gymnests *can't spell* on the olympics are freakin nuts! actually all these athelets are freakin amazing! good job to all *except the french cuz they were talkin shit about my baby micheal phelps and couldn't talk the talk or swim the swim! they really need to real to shut their overly large french toast mouths!*

OMG ENGLISH TOMORROW! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! so excited...slightly worried but managable!

pleace comment!

PEACE!

time after time

so i had that interview today... it was ok... not my thing so i was very happy when i got into my car and had a voicemail from toys r us! woo hoo! i'm excitted for that interview!

i got a text message at 1230 this morning from smitty... for those of you who are close know the story and for those who aren't he's...well he's hard to explain. i like him but it's slowly detreating by the fact that he only talks to me when he's drunk! i've told him that it kinda pisses me off but that too was also when he was drunk so i'd be surprised if he remembered it. i want to know what's going on with him and why he's screwing me over like this when he promised he wouldn't! so smitty if you're reading this CALL ME WHEN U R SOBER AND WE CAN ACTUALLY TALK!!!

i just really need to stop focusing on guys and get into school mode! i can't believe i start my classes on monday! English is Monday at 600-840 *i'm lucky i like english or else an almost 3 hour class of it would really suck!* Tuesday is Statistics at 305-420 and Business 101 at 430-545 Wednesday is Orientation to College from 6-840 *yeah i don't get why i need a three hour class every week for something that could probably be handled in one day* Thursday *and this is my big day* is Statistics at 305-420 Business 101 at 430-545 and History 143 at 6-840 But with this huge Thursday i get Friday's off completly! i think that's my favorite part about the whole thing cuz then i can still come home for whatever football game seems interesting on friday's and not miss any of the RVC games on saturdays!

please comment!

PEACE

all i wanna do

wow... i took a day off of this... not on purpose

so now i feel behind so here's what i would have writen yesterday!

today i came back home because i had a doctor appointment... no bueno! but the good thing about it was that i decided to stay the night at mi casa. anna n i kind of got into a little bit of a fight... it was a miscomunication...yet again and we just decided to do our own thing with the plans we made. needless to say she's hanging out with other ppl and i MIGHT be going to rockford with brooke, manda and leslie.

anywho... i went to a movie with austin tonight! yeah we're ok... we kinda got into i fight on the way to dubuque but we *like always* got over it within 10 minutes. he always knows when i'm pissed at him and has this way of makin me not upset anymore. so we were drivin thru taco bell after a pretty cool mummy movie and we were laughing at the fact that austin said he felt fat cuz he got an xtra large mountain dew, when i realized that he has the most beautiful smile i have ever seen! that mixed with those baby blue eyes! i could have started drolling right there n then! lol but too bad we're just "buddies".... that's our thing. we call each other buddy. i think i do that to remind myself that we're just buddies....not anything more....ever *and he's made that perfectly clear!* i just wish other ppl would know that because too many ppl have said that we're gunna get married some day! THIS IS NUTS PEOPLE AND IT HAS TO STOP! we're not gettin married! how could "buddies" get married?

i have an interview for banker's health and casualty insureance on wednesday.... i gotta firgure out where it is.... o the joys of liveing in a city with more street names then ppl you graduated with!

please comment!

PEACE!

this is why i miss you!

this is why i miss the ppl i do

anna: i miss you because i'm so used to call you every single day to see what you are doing... i mean i guess i still could but i'd feel left out since i can't be there to join you! you read ur letter...you know how much you mean to me

katelin: i miss you because before i left we didn't hang out... at all... this make me sad because you are a big part of my life and i miss you like crazy!

brooke: i miss you because you kept my life entertaining! like the bret's bottom night... we weren't even planning to go out there but we ended up there n it was for the better i believe!

leslie: i miss you because i didn't really get to hang out with you before i left either... like i said i blame myself for that and i'm sorry but we'll see each other soon

austin: i miss you because... well cuz ur my super buddy. you still pissed me off by not saying goodbye but i always knew that if i were bored i could convince you to go to a movie even if you had to work the next morning.... now i think it would be harder to convice you...

this one is for the secret boy: i miss you because you're not around... your presence always made me happy... even just texting you makes me feel so much better about anything that is going on, n since we couldn't talk for awhile i felt like everything was falling apart. i miss you more then i should and this isn't helping the "just friends" thing we're tryin to have but i have a secret for you.... i fell. i'm not really sure when it happened... prolly somewhere between my telling you my secret and you telling me yours. so to quote grey's anatomy "choose me, pick me, love me"

today was kinda boring and i started remenising when i realized that i miss these people the most... not saying i don't miss the other people in my life but that these people must have had a huge impact on my life in order for me to miss them so much... no offense to the people i didn't mention... i do miss you all!

please comment....

PEACE

Moving day!

i finally moved to my uncle's house and i'm suprisingly happy! i wasn't sure how to feel about this whole moving deal... in one corner i'm starting a new chapter of my life... in the other i'm ending one very extrodinary chapter. my mood ring said it all day-mixed emotions. Now that i'm here and everything is set in the place i want, i feel at home. But no matter what, this home will never exceed my hometown... ever!

last night was the party. lots of fighting and lots of tears. austin didn't even say goodbye to me! austin is my best guy friend and he was beinging really awkward last night. but the fact that he left without even saying goodbye really hurt! i don't think he realizes how much he really means to me. he's always been there for me to talk me thru n out of stuff and i couldn't ask for a better friend! sure he treats me like shit sometimes but he has a way of making me laugh that no1 else seems be able to do. anna n brooke were there for me last night like true best friends! i was crying n crying and they were there for me! i couldn't thank you girls more! i'm truly missing you both and can't wait to see you on monday!

tomorrow should be a farly easy day! just relaxing and texting people just to keep in touch....


please comment!

PEACE!

i'll never let go

So I went to a wedding reception today. It was ok, but after awhile Mike Micheala and myself decided we wanted to go bowling. Is that bad? Leaving a wedding reception to go bowling? We barely even knew the couple. We told my grandma and she wasn't to happy. Well the bowling was a lot of fun. Mike won both games, I came in second both, and kada gave a good try coming in third both times... lol it was funny watchin her... her best score was around the 50's. hehe

I realized that one week from today I move into Mike's house! I can't wait! I just want to give a shout out to everyone who thinks I won't think of them while I'm away. cough kyle cough. Kyle *ex-boyfriend/one of my best guy friends.... we still talk too it's awesome!* you are sadly mistaken my friend! How could I not not think of any of you guys?! You all are my friends and will always be!

i had a really good conversation with someone unexpected today! I can't say who for safty reasons but now I know how he feels and he knows how I feel. If he's reading this *and he knows who he is* I want to say that I'll wait but I know not to keep my hopes up. I'm sorry if I put any sort of pressure on you, do as you please...but remember that I'm here...

7 DAYS UNTIL I MOVE!

PEACE

Let's start a riot!

So I was working at my aunt's daycare today when it started pouring rain! I was about to leave so I waited til the rain stopped.... i walked onto the porch and stepped on the step AND FELL!!! o man did it hurt! now i got this huge bruise on my outer thigh! O how it hurts!



Today I finally talked to Amanda for the first time in about two weeks. We were having a difference of opinions and we finally sucked up our pride and talked it out! I'm so glad we did to because with my moving in 9 days, I really didn't want leave having harsh feelings toward anyone. Her and I have been through a lot in the last year and this was just another test of how strong our friendship really is.

So I went to the county fair tonight. First of all good jobs to Jacqui, Rachel, and Cori! You ladies were awesome! But the real reason why I mentioned the fair is because I saw Curran for the first time since February. Curran is a guy I was kind of seeing until his best friend *my ex-boyfriend* stepped in and told him that we could no longer see each other. Cory *the ex* and I have been broken up for almost two years now. When this whole situation was going on, I resented the whole fact that Cory was pushing Curran to do something that he wasn't completely happy with. But Curran *and I do hope you read this!* I get it now. I understood then that friendship is way more important then a relationship with any girl. I understand now that I would have done the same exact thing. So I'm sorry for saying that they aren't supporting you and they were only out to get me. I was very wrong. It was your choice and I'm so happy for you and Erica! I'm sure you two make a very....nice... couple.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I MOVE IN JUST 9 DAYS!

Please comment!

PEACE

My first time :)

Hi everyone! This is my first time blogging so I'll just give the basics.



My name is Kili. I'm 18 years old. I'm about 5' 6" with brown straight hair, which I recently permed. It didn't look that great right away but once I learned how to rock it out I did just that. I will be attending Rock Valley College in 20 days! I can't wait to start this new chapter in my life! I'll be living with my uncle Mike in Roscoe. Most of my friends who are moving away for school are quite nervous, however I don't have a worry in the world... well besides being unemployed in a week, having to make all new friends, and dealing with harder classes. Some would say those are pretty big worries, but the fact that i will still be surrounded by family has my nerves on hold.



I have the best friends that I could ever ask for! Anna and Katelin are my best friends... they don't get along but I love them both dearly! Anna is my go to girl when i have boy problems, which lately seems to be quite a few! Katelin is my golfin buddy and i know i could trust her with anything! Then my closest friends: Brooke, Bridget, and Leslie. Brooke reminds me to live my life for all its worth! Bridget has the best sense of humor and makes me laugh like crazy. Leslie is completely honest with me, even when it hurts.



Well, that's the basics! Please comment if you have questions or comments!



PEACE!